Some media that I plan to use are songs or voices that I think are beautiful, photos, paintings, or drawings about landscapes that I find beautiful, and many other things that I think hold beauty.
Outline:
Intro
– I think that beauty is a personal preference and that someone can see beauty in anything.
-Introduce “What is Art For?”
– Introduce “La Bella Vita”
– Introduce the lets talk about art project –> maybe Natalie’s because I really like that she incorporated her own pieces of artwork into it
Thesis- My opinion on what I think are beautiful are very open minded. If someone explains what their piece means or why they did it can influence if I think it is intact beautiful. But I also find beauty in mystery.
Body Paragraphs: (not in order)
- Talk about La Bella Vita
- Compare, quote, analyze
- Talk about what I think is art
- Give multi-modal examples
- talk about my experiences with art
- Talk about What is Art For?
- Compare and analyze
- do I agree or disagree
- Did I think the information presented to me is useful?
- Talk about Let’s Talk About art
- Talk about how I relate to this experience
- Why I chose this persons work
Conclusion:
- Sum up essay
- Restate thesis
I really like your outline for this essay. I think you should have one or two body paragraphs about what you find beautiful and maybe a comparison of what you find beautiful and what society finds beautiful. I think you should possibly add this instead of talking about 2 sources of literature. I think one is fine for this essay especially because this essay is more of a personal narrative like she said. Other than that, I think your outline is really good and you can produce an amazing paper from this.
I like that your thesis has multiple parts to it. I think that the different modes of communication that you are going to include will be interesting for the reader and support your thesis nicely. Based on how you are approaching this essay I think that Natalie’s project would fit very nicely in your essay because of the fact that she included her own artwork in her project. Your outline makes sense and I can follow your line of thought clearly. I think your essay will be interesting and share your voice nicely while using all of the sources to support your thesis and voice.
Emma,
I immediately see red flags, as your paragraphs move from source to source, instead of claim to claim. Don’t do this.
Instead, narrow down your thesis like the one I wrote on the board during class on Tuesday. Then write claim sentences to support your thesis. I LOVED that you mentioned clothes (a dress) when we went around the room during that initial class discussion on beauty. What if you narrowed your focus to how people experience beauty via clothing? How do you experience beauty via clothing? How does society experience beauty via clothing? How could society change for the better by making the most of beauty via clothing? Now, this is just one idea out of millions, obviously. I just wanted to provide you with an example of how narrow you could go. You could still make connections with our sources, but you would do so on your own terms. Does that make sense?
3/3